Justification

There are certain things that happen because I am a Mom of multiples.
1. I always eat the cookies that appear to have the most chocolate chips. I'm being practical. This not only saves on laundry, but spares my poor abused furniture.
2. Sometimes when all my kids are in a safe spot I stop in the middle of the day and just eat some food or even drink a glass of water. I do this facing a wall or staring out the window and just breathe. I don't even peek to see where or how far the yogurt has made it across the floor.
3. I hide toys from my kids. Then in a month when I get it back out I'm perfectly fine taking all the credit for the wonderful new toy I got them. I accept a hug or "thank you, mommy" equally.

4. I have hidden canisters of bleach wipes in every room of our house. Unfortunately the girls are great at hiding games and by the time I move them around enough that they give up I usually can't find them. I tend to come across them in a pinch.
5. My fruit bowl is bound to have at least two pieces of fruit at any given time that have bites taken out of them... sometimes an open half mutilated banana or an orange with a bite taken out of it right through the peel.
6. I can't thaw meat on the counter or in the sink. We had a roll of sausage out for less than an hour one day and found it gnawed with large raised areas shaped like mouth prints.
7. My girls probably look a bit rumpled at times. This may be partially due to the fact that I don't fold their clothes. I hang the dresses and everything is sorted and dumped into the appropriate basket.
8. We have days that involve way to much television.
9. I don't believe in caffeine... I don't believe in sleep much either. I survive off sugar and adrenaline. It can take a lot of sugar to stay awake on two hours of sleep a night for a week or more... a lot of sugar.
10. Sometimes our cheese looks like a mouse was in the refrigerator. Our beautiful girls will nibble their way through the packaging and chew off hunks of cheese. I buy two blocks if we're having company during the upcoming week... the other has to be smuggled to the back of the fridge for safety.
11. I have an eight to nine hour dead zone during the day while my husband is at work. There are no guarantees of food, water, or bathroom breaks during this time. Sometimes when I'm really hungry or my blood sugar starts to slip I have found a pretty foolproof way to have a small snack. I pretend to be a cat and the girls love feeding me 'cat snacks'... unfortunately it's usually dry breakfast cereal that someone asked for at breakfast and didn't finish.
12. I keep my dirty steak knives on the top shelf of the fridge because my girls like to climb up and bathe themselves in the kitchen sink with liquid hand soap... mostly Bella.
13. I let my kids fall asleep almost anywhere... sometimes it's just such a blessing that they're actually sleeping.
14. We eat pretty much anything we can coax, cajole, or persuade into someone.
15. If my house starts smelling like diapers I have been known to feed the babies cinnamon snack puffs and the girls apples and vanilla wafers... it works best in a hot car, but it makes a house smell a bit more festive too.
16. Sometimes we just need a quiet place to have a little person space.
17. Everything that comes into this house needs to be prepared to be tried and tested as an effective toy... everything.

A Tribute to Babies

In the Spring the young emerge beginning a new cycle in the familial development that has been establishing itself in the family pack since its formation. The adult male accepts the offspring into the tribe through the ritualistic building of the crib and installation of the car seats. These signs offer reassurance to the alpha female of the stability of her young as new members of the pride.

Babies are fantastic creatures. They seem gentle to an onlooker, but possess razor sharp fangs and regenerating talons, their cry can shatter glass (well almost) and pierce to your very soul. They are docile creatures for the most part and only attack during times of emotional overstimulation. Most baby related injuries are superficial, but caution is advisable. Smaller prey should be especially wary of possible attacks as they seem more prone to instigating extreme emotional states and make an easier target due to size issues.

Baby attacks are often used as social indicators. This tends to leave other babies just as vulnerable as an outsider, perhaps more so due to slower mobility at this stage. As attacks within a baby pride expand to include all local populace, the dominance of a single baby leads to the establishment of an alpha baby in the pack.

The alpha baby tends to spend more time sitting in an upright position. It is from this position that alpha baby, who we will call Daphne, asserts her position in the pack. Playful eye gouging and hair pulling not only cements her position among the babies, but are signs of her acceptance of their role in the intricate balance of the family unit. While these playful iconic interactions are sometimes returned by the other babies, Daphne maintains her position undisputed because of her power over her gravitationally influenced environment.

Dominance is also commonly mobility based. This major advantage in the pack also allows Daphne more exposure to the domestic dynamics that are in play within the tribe. She is thus enabled to find more opportunities to insert herself into social situations that have the capacity to increase her standing in the familial hierarchy.

As we take leave of our wiggly subject we have confidence in her thriving within the wilds of her family unit. She has established a maintainable position within the pack that ensures the giggles of the rest of the tribe.

Accessibility: Jilly's Cupcake Bar, Delmar Blvd

Accessibility: Twins

Bella 'sampling' Ava's cupcake

While the doors at Jilly's accommodate a basic double stroller the cupcakes lure in free range toddlers in a sort of quiet reverence. As we celebrated our 11th anniversary recently, babysitter-free, we decided what better place to take our little gaggle for a few moments of happy squeals. Despite the dangers, we let them each pick their own giant cupcake. I felt a swell of pride as Cami indicated the 'chocolate thunder' cupcake... this is most definitely my daughter... only to realize moments later that we were the proud owners of a giant yellow smiley face cupcake sitting next to the heavenly chocolate homage. Bella went with 'the bee sting' for its tiny candy bee that is gently nestled in the folds of lemon frosting atop a cake harboring a delightful lemon curd filling. Ava made it her goal to devour a 'nutter fluffer' with all the layers of butter cream frosting, marshmallow cream, and a large nutter butter cookie to top off the already mega-sized dessert for a twenty-eight pound two-year-old.

To save the Jilly's staff from blocking Bella kitchen access... again, we took our prizes home. It was the longest car ride in history...

Cami: Cupcake please Mommy. Cupcake please Daddy.

Cami finally gets her cupcake.

Me: We'll go home and then we'll have cupcakes.
Cami: But Mommy I need it. I need it. My cupcake.
Me: As soon as we get home you can have your cupcake.
Cami: Just a lick. I need a lick my cupcake.

... you get the idea.

Getting in the house was another ordeal entirely. Once our brains turned on we realized that the cupcakes had to lead the way from the car to the house. Three wide-eyed, anxious toddlers followed directly under the cupcake bag... right where I usually keep my feet. Once we set up our baby-sized picnic table and laid out the cupcakes they took their positions. Ready. Set. Go! The onslaught of moist cake and creamy frostings and fillings attacked our children without mercy, creeping across clothing, matting into hair, plastering itself into every cranny a two-year-old could have or imagine.

Ava is by far our neatest eater.

Accessible or not, go to Jilly's. If you chase toddlers all day you can afford the calories. One cupcake is easily enough dessert for two adults... not that I couldn't finish one off by myself if I set my mind and stomach to it in unison, but I wouldn't recommend it. Cupcake is now a magical word that brings joy to the hearts of my little ones. Eat a cupcake, make a baby smile. Jilly's. This is not a paid advertisement... I just love dessert.

http://jillyscupcakebar.com/

The Tale of Bella and the Majestic Waters

Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Screamsalot, a young maiden was bound by the power and beauty of water. Young Bella was inexplicably drawn to the presence of the beautiful liquid. She carried with her a mighty receptacle to capture even the smallest liquid gem that she might have the good fortune to find.

One day as she traveled the borders of the kingdom, Lady Bella was enchanted by a magical device the spewed forth a plentiful supply of the most beautiful, most clear liquid gems she had ever seen. She could not resist the powerful draw of this magical device. It had to be explored and freed for the good of the kingdom and for the joy and delight of Lady Bella.

She prepared to ascend the great cliffs to reach the beautiful silver device and with it to obtain power over the glorious liquid gems that seemed to ever gleam before the eyes of the young maiden. As she came within sight of the cliff top her heart leapt within her for she knew that she had nearly reached her one true desire. Even as the hope swelled within her she was lifted into the air, her screams piercing the solitude of the evening. She had not suspected that the cliffs were guarded by two ferocious ogres. They banished Lady Bella to the kingdom floor and were heartless to her pleas for safe passage.

She wept on the floor of the valley deep below the beautiful cliffs while high above her her precious prize shimmered. Lady Bella was undaunted in her quest. Each day she began the perilous climb, again and again she was thwarted by the compassionless ogres that defied all her progress.

One day as the fair maiden began her precarious climb she noticed that the ogre had with it its young. Lady Bella had once again failed to achieve her goal, but now she devised a strategy.

Lady Bella followed the ogre in feigned innocence until she found the nest where the young were being sheltered. She patiently waited until the mighty ogres were  turned away in distraction and immediately she leap into the nest and stole away all the baby ogres' playthings. It was but moments before the cries of alarm and dissatisfaction were heard throughout the kingdom. The ogre rushed to its young and in so doing abandoned its watch on the watery cliffs. This was Lady Bella's fondest hope and greatest chance. She wasted no time as she scurried up the steep cliff, her goal clearly in mind. By the time the ogre realized its negligence the young maiden was joyously covered in warm, wet gems. Her glass overflowed to her delight and her curiosity was overwhelmed by the wonder of the majestic waters.

Moving Multiples

It's moving day here in toddler land. There is a lot to do with any move. I pack and unpack for a family of seven and my husband hauls boxes around the house. The girls hang on to our feet, scream at the doors (whether we are going in or out), and do their best to pull our pants down by the back pockets. They might be feeling a touch clingy.

Cami understands what is going on and she "a loves you a new house." She spends a lot of her time reassuring her sisters while they are busily playing. "It's our new house 'isters. It's okay, Mommy here. Daddy here. Toys here." What more could a two-year-old ask for? They have taught us a lot about moving, about what it really means to be prepared, and about when you need a break. They remind us that it's okay to stop and draw a pageful of triangles or read "Bear Snores On" twelve times. They have also given us these moving thoughts:

1. Moving boxes are more productive in color. Tape up the bottom of a day's worth of boxes, leave out a box of crayons, and place each toddlers in a canvas. This generally freed me up to pack at least half the boxes I laid out, plus every box unpacked rewards me with a custom design inside.

2. A box isn't packed until it is physically secured.  For weeks I found things that I was sure I had packed ... I had. They were standing guard while they took turns opening and sloppily retaping boxes after freeing the hidden treasures.

3. New outlets are cooler than old outlets. If you don't want to buy double outlet covers sacrifice the covers off the old boring outlets for safety on the new exciting ones.

4. Good boxes make good tables. It can be hard to focus a toddler in transit on a regular, boring meal. A large table box makes the meal another fun part of the move.

5. Our girls felt much better bringing a friend along. They felt more secure about the move when we kept them in a pack... a toddler pride, but toys help too. The first time we took them to see the house we explained that we would bring all their toys, clothes, beds, sisters and brother, and mommy and daddy's stuff and all stay at the house when we got moved in. So they each brought a big toy to help with the move. Something bulky and awkward to pack works best for me. They got to take it to the car and then carry it into the new house and find a special place for it. They all chose directly inside the front door, but they liked the idea in spirit.

6. All new houses are dangerously exciting to toddlers. There is so much to explore. Even if they had a bathroom, for instance, in the old house that doesn't mean they won't wait until your back is turned, escape the bath and find every potential hazard while wet, soapy, and slippery. They will... of course they will.

I wonder a little what the neighbors think as they watch the procession of repacked diaper boxes endlessly pouring into the house. It might be a dead giveaway that we have a kid or two. The main thing I have learned moving multiples is that I have to explore faster, longer, and more thoroughly... Not to mention getting down on the ground so that I have a toddler's eye view.

Pea Eaters Consortium

Evan and Daphne plotting

The social habits of multiples develop into their own independent society. They don't always have an older sibling to regurgitate your parenting wisdom for their benefit or to show them the expected norms that younger kids often find instinctive. They learn in tandem. They learn and share their interpretations, settling on one and then another until they find one that suits them each as individuals.

My girls have developed a symbiotic relationship within their toddler society. This is most noticeable where food is concerned. We lay out a meal on three little plates, but they really use more of a speed dating system to get acquainted with their food. At various points in the meal the plates are rotated for the next round. Each child takes their favorite parts and starts to watch for the next plate. They have a distinctive and delicate balance.

Peaceful trips in the car often rely on the selection of the right snack food. Prepackaged cheese crackers with peanut butter are, for some reason unknown to me, a huge hit. Cami delicately uses the edges of her teeth to scrap each cracker free of peanut butter and then she has a freshly cleaned cheese cracker for each of her sisters. Garlic bread is a phenomenon that brings me an odd form of entertainment. Ava picks off the thinnest layer of bread from the surface stopping just below the level of butter saturation. Bella finishes off each piece for her, sometimes waiting in baited anticipation while she watches her sister prepare the bread for her.

My favorite of all is their pea eating consortium. During the summer we love fresh peas... and from an apartment in the middle of Saint Louis, we love four pound bags of relatively fresh peas from Sam's Club. I made it my goal one night to introduce this food into the girls' diet. Cami is the most difficult with new food so I decided to start off with her. Once she's on board the other two are quick to decide on their role in the symbiosis of food consumption. 

Ava picks out "pea candy" for her sister.

I was near desperation. "Just lick it once." That usually works. In a stroke of brilliance or mischievousness, I told her they were candy. "Pea candy, do you want me to open some for you?" I opened the pod, I mean wrapper, and showed her the beautiful row of candy inside. I had won. Her sisters settled in to watch and with a bowl of washed and 'open' candies I left them to discover and hopefully eat. What developed within their little society was fantastic. Cami opens the pod and eats all the 'candy.' Then she hands off the pods to her sisters. They're perfectly content to enjoy the 'wrappers.' Cami thinks she has scored a great victory and Bella and Ava are perfectly content to play their role in the life cycle of the pea.


I have to admit that in the back of my mind I feel that two of my little ones are getting jipped on this particular exchange, but one of the first things we learned as parents of multiples is not to upset the delicate, happy balance that is triplet society.

Shift Sleeping

There is a very important survival mechanism for coping with the joys of multiples, shift sleeping. We learned the hard way that there is no such thing as nighttime. Triplet parenthood restarts life into 21 hour days that feel like forty and nights that are a collective endeavor of the five-minute naps accidentally stolen over the course of the day. We always felt like someone needed to sleep at night, that someone had to stay up during the daytime, and that a 24-hour clock was somehow essential to maintain our humanity. We were wrong.

Shift sleeping was the salvation of our survival. Every second of everyday that two adults are home, not starving, and the house isn't completely falling apart, one of those adults should be asleep. We divided the evenings and nights into shifts and the rest of the day was based on lucidity. This plan took us from the one to three hour nights of the first few months to the three to five hour nights that sustained us for the next two years.

Here are the rules:
1. Your shift means you get first priority for sleep.
2. Your shift means you get dibs on the most easily consumable meal (getting food out of the way makes more time for sleep).
3. If it's not your shift and everyone is asleep seize the moment, but sleep lightly.

Bella in her favorite napping cabinet.

Our children have their own version on shift sleeping. They seem to have the days and nights laid out in an overlapping schedule to make sure that we're never lonely. Within seconds of one child being laid down to sleep another is automatically activated to take their place.

This is the basis of day to day survival for us. We are now on our second week of somewhat regular night times. Four out of five kids sleeping through the night, a stable bedtime, and almost six hours of sleep most nights. As our brains begin to wake up from their survival coma, it becomes easier and easier to laugh about all the night time adventures we've endured in the last two and a half years.