Justification

There are certain things that happen because I am a Mom of multiples.
1. I always eat the cookies that appear to have the most chocolate chips. I'm being practical. This not only saves on laundry, but spares my poor abused furniture.
2. Sometimes when all my kids are in a safe spot I stop in the middle of the day and just eat some food or even drink a glass of water. I do this facing a wall or staring out the window and just breathe. I don't even peek to see where or how far the yogurt has made it across the floor.
3. I hide toys from my kids. Then in a month when I get it back out I'm perfectly fine taking all the credit for the wonderful new toy I got them. I accept a hug or "thank you, mommy" equally.

4. I have hidden canisters of bleach wipes in every room of our house. Unfortunately the girls are great at hiding games and by the time I move them around enough that they give up I usually can't find them. I tend to come across them in a pinch.
5. My fruit bowl is bound to have at least two pieces of fruit at any given time that have bites taken out of them... sometimes an open half mutilated banana or an orange with a bite taken out of it right through the peel.
6. I can't thaw meat on the counter or in the sink. We had a roll of sausage out for less than an hour one day and found it gnawed with large raised areas shaped like mouth prints.
7. My girls probably look a bit rumpled at times. This may be partially due to the fact that I don't fold their clothes. I hang the dresses and everything is sorted and dumped into the appropriate basket.
8. We have days that involve way to much television.
9. I don't believe in caffeine... I don't believe in sleep much either. I survive off sugar and adrenaline. It can take a lot of sugar to stay awake on two hours of sleep a night for a week or more... a lot of sugar.
10. Sometimes our cheese looks like a mouse was in the refrigerator. Our beautiful girls will nibble their way through the packaging and chew off hunks of cheese. I buy two blocks if we're having company during the upcoming week... the other has to be smuggled to the back of the fridge for safety.
11. I have an eight to nine hour dead zone during the day while my husband is at work. There are no guarantees of food, water, or bathroom breaks during this time. Sometimes when I'm really hungry or my blood sugar starts to slip I have found a pretty foolproof way to have a small snack. I pretend to be a cat and the girls love feeding me 'cat snacks'... unfortunately it's usually dry breakfast cereal that someone asked for at breakfast and didn't finish.
12. I keep my dirty steak knives on the top shelf of the fridge because my girls like to climb up and bathe themselves in the kitchen sink with liquid hand soap... mostly Bella.
13. I let my kids fall asleep almost anywhere... sometimes it's just such a blessing that they're actually sleeping.
14. We eat pretty much anything we can coax, cajole, or persuade into someone.
15. If my house starts smelling like diapers I have been known to feed the babies cinnamon snack puffs and the girls apples and vanilla wafers... it works best in a hot car, but it makes a house smell a bit more festive too.
16. Sometimes we just need a quiet place to have a little person space.
17. Everything that comes into this house needs to be prepared to be tried and tested as an effective toy... everything.

A Tribute to Babies

In the Spring the young emerge beginning a new cycle in the familial development that has been establishing itself in the family pack since its formation. The adult male accepts the offspring into the tribe through the ritualistic building of the crib and installation of the car seats. These signs offer reassurance to the alpha female of the stability of her young as new members of the pride.

Babies are fantastic creatures. They seem gentle to an onlooker, but possess razor sharp fangs and regenerating talons, their cry can shatter glass (well almost) and pierce to your very soul. They are docile creatures for the most part and only attack during times of emotional overstimulation. Most baby related injuries are superficial, but caution is advisable. Smaller prey should be especially wary of possible attacks as they seem more prone to instigating extreme emotional states and make an easier target due to size issues.

Baby attacks are often used as social indicators. This tends to leave other babies just as vulnerable as an outsider, perhaps more so due to slower mobility at this stage. As attacks within a baby pride expand to include all local populace, the dominance of a single baby leads to the establishment of an alpha baby in the pack.

The alpha baby tends to spend more time sitting in an upright position. It is from this position that alpha baby, who we will call Daphne, asserts her position in the pack. Playful eye gouging and hair pulling not only cements her position among the babies, but are signs of her acceptance of their role in the intricate balance of the family unit. While these playful iconic interactions are sometimes returned by the other babies, Daphne maintains her position undisputed because of her power over her gravitationally influenced environment.

Dominance is also commonly mobility based. This major advantage in the pack also allows Daphne more exposure to the domestic dynamics that are in play within the tribe. She is thus enabled to find more opportunities to insert herself into social situations that have the capacity to increase her standing in the familial hierarchy.

As we take leave of our wiggly subject we have confidence in her thriving within the wilds of her family unit. She has established a maintainable position within the pack that ensures the giggles of the rest of the tribe.